Archive for 'Adoptive Parenting'

Parental White Privilege Does Benefit Interracial Adoptees

Parental White Privilege Does Benefit Interracial Adoptees

Last week, an article in the Huffington Post http://huff.to/1I0A0fj To The Lady Who Called my Toddler a Thug, written by Rachel Garlinghouse, a white mother who adopted a black boy, got my attention. Particularly because of her concern that her little boy, just because of his appearance was, innocently and not so innocently stereotyped by people whom she knew. It’s the US, I thought, and it’s a dangerous, racialized ...

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Women’s History Month, My Way ~ Part 3: Florita Tully

Women’s History Month, My Way ~ Part 3: Florita Tully

On Saint Patrick’s Day, as my son’s name is Patrick, I decided to honor his grandmother, my mother-in-law, whom I loved most dearly. I wrote this essay for her when she was 102. When time came for her to accept that her only son would choose a black girl as his wife, I never heard any negative comments. Florita accepted me and Patrick fully and unconditionally into the fold of her family. And that was remarkable in the 1970’s upstate New ...

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Women’s History Month: Part 2: Honoring The Mother I Loved.

Women’s History Month: Part 2: Honoring The Mother I Loved.

In the past few blogs I’ve written about wanting to love my birth mother Rosa, a woman I did not get to know. The mother who raised me, however, I knew and loved dearly.

She was 50 when she decided to keep me. her name was Esther, but I called her Mutti, for she was German. She was born in 1888, while Queen Victoria still ruled in England. Picture being raised by a Victorian woman! I could ...

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March, Women’s History Month: Let’s Honor Our Mothers

March, Women’s History Month: Let’s Honor Our Mothers

This blog post was inspired by Denise Oliver Velez’s diary in The Daily Koz, http://bit.ly/1F9qYs3 in which she writes about the almost complete lack of representation of non-White women when female merits are praised during this month. It comes down to the usual, that history is written by the victors, and those have belonged, in our time and age, to the White race.

I was thinking of blogging about women writers whose ...

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Comforting the Hardened Heart

Comforting the Hardened Heart

Not easy, working on spiritual action. And I don’t know if that is an adequate term for what I am focusing on in my meditations.

I know my mother died early in her life, of a massive stroke. People said she died of a broken heart at having lost me, regardless of her repeated efforts and sacrifice to remain connected.

Once I had learned my story as my mother saw it, based on what my siblings shared with me, I ...

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Closing the Circle

Closing the Circle

There are still times when I feel pretty wretched. They are no longer because of something someone said to me. But they come at night or during meditation, and have to do with my relationship with my mother. Not my German mother who in so many areas is deserving of my love and praise, but the mother who cradled me beneath her heart and whose placenta fed me for the months I lived in her womb. I am not ...

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The Beauty of Having African Hair

The Beauty of Having African Hair

These days I’m again going through the paces again with my hair. By that I mean: now that it’s more gray and white than black, I’m trying to figure out what to do with all the gray kinks and curls. I wish I had the nerve to just go “natural” the way younger women are doing. I’m also fascinated by the way African women have for centuries worked their hair. Look at novelist Chimamanda Adichie Ngozi’s many styles! Here she is in my ...

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Dreams of my Birthmother Rosa

Dreams of my Birthmother Rosa

 

In writing my recent book, Split at the Root: A Memoir of Love and Lost Identity (Kindle) or Split at the Root: A Memoir of Love and Lost Identity, I tell the story of growing up within a culture and a race that was different to my own. Here’s an excerpt:

The night I finished reading Jamaica Kincaid’s Annie John, the wind blowing outside my window ushered messages into my dreams.

I was Annie John, and had ...

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Christmas Eve Feast – Memories of Childhood

Christmas Eve Feast – Memories of Childhood
Decorated Christmas DeerIn Split at the Root: A Memoir of Love and Lost Identity, I tell the story of growing up within a culture and a race that was different to my own. Here’s an excerpt:Guatemala City is only 15 degrees north of the Equator, but at five thousand feet above sea level the altitude allows ...
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Want to know what the British boarding school in Jamaica was like?

Want to know what the British boarding school in Jamaica was like?

In writing my recent book, Split at the Root: A Memoir of Love and Lost Identity (Kindle) or Split at the Root: A Memoir of Love and Lost Identity, I tell the story of growing up within a culture and a race that was different to my own. Here’s an excerpt:

Established in 1858 and perched on a wide hilly expanse, the school was a dominating U-shaped two-story construction. I don’t know what I was expecting, but the minute I ...

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