The October 05, 2012 podcast Attachment in Adoption is a Two-Way Street, offered by Creating a Family.org. Dawn Davenport and Carol Losier discussed several issues that related to concerns adoptive parents regularly worry about. With regard to an adopted child’s behavior, parents often wonder if it is an adoption, or a normal issue. That is always going to be the question when there are no family members the child can be compared to. How easy is it to say: Oh dear she/he does just what ‘Charlie’ did to justify something ‘different’ their child does. I loved it when my son was compared to his father’s family members. With his aunt Jackie, for instance, he shares a similar emotional framework. When there’s no such point of reference, however, as is the case with adopted children, any type of behavior that might concern the adoptive parent, becomes a much larger issue. They wonder if it’s their reactions or their family life that brings about the child’s behavior (nurture). Or is it a genetic condition, something she/he inherited from his birth parents? (nature).

I considered myself to have solid “germanic” traits due to my upbringing. So much so, that I confused the biology teacher in Jamaica, who staunchly believed hereditary nature was predominant in human behavior, that in my case nurture had been the strongest factor because I was more controlled, disciplined and orderly than all the other girls in the school. I attributed this to the German upbringing. Decades later, of course I learned differently.

Creating a Family.org is a sound and helpful website offering a variety of avenues for discussion and participation on issues of adoption.